My daughter keeps buggin me about when Im gonna start teaching her how to drive, she'll be 15 in 3 months, so when is it a good time to start? TY
Age 14, wanting to learn how to drive at 15.
4 Answers
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I agree with Andrea. It's not the driving, it's what comes after she learns to drive. Do you think she is going to bug you mercilessly for her own car? Unlimited access to yours? Sneak out at night and take the car (whether or not she has a license)? Driving is a grown-up responsibility and she needs to start acting like more of a grown-up about learning to drive -- not bugging you constantly, earning some money for gas, showing that she is responsible.
When I was growing up, the law allowed me to get a learner's permit at 15.5. My dad said he would teach me to drive the day I turned 15.5 but (1) every day I whined about it I got to learn a day later and (2) it was up to me to arrange and pay for the state-required driver's ed class. So he put up a big piece of paper on the wall that said "I will teach you to drive on: <date>" and a bunch of dates were crossed out and the next day written in its place. And even when I finally shut up about when he was going to teach me and got close to the date, I realized that the whole driver's ed class was a problem. I needed to earn money to pay for it and then deal with signing up for it and it wasn't available when I wanted it so I needed to rearrange my life a little and take it later than I wanted. So instead of getting my license at 16 as I wanted, I think I got it 4 months after my birthday. But it was good because I learned some self-control (not whining) and took some responsibility for myself (earning money, signing up for the class). I also had to learn how to change tires, oil, and windshield wiper blades; put gas in the car; put chains on the car.
Don't know if your state has this but we had to drive with a parent in the car for 30 hours before we could get a license. My parents made me log 100 hours with them and for the first year I wasn't allowed to (1) drive with anyone else in the car or (2) drive after it was dark. When we took long roadtrips to visit my grandparents (11 hours each way, a couple of times a year), I drove almost the whole way. It was a long, open stretch of road and it was a good opportunity for me to get the feeling of power and freedom of driving, but it was boring enough and I was under enough supervision that I didn't do anything stupid.
I would figure out what you want the next few years to look like. Talk to her now about what you expect of her in terms of contributing money for gas and insurance, whether she will be expected to do errands, whether you think you'll get her a car or she'll share yours or not have any access and how that is going to play out, what will you do if she drives drunk or is in a car with someone who is (a friend of mine drove drunk in high school and her parents took away her license and she wasn't allowed in *any* car until she graduated). Make sure she knows that this is both a privledge and a responsibility and make her earn it instead of just getting beaten down by her.
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I'd say it depends on where you are... is there a big parking lot or private road where you can teach her? Are you going to teach her stick shift? (never know when that kind of a skill comes in handy, makes sense to take time to practice that, and in my humble opinion, gives pretty decent bragging rights, as in "my dad taught me to drive stick when I was 15").
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I remember when I was a teenager. From age 13 or 14 on, whenever my parents asked what I wanted for a gift (for birthday, holiday, whatever), all I'd say was I wanted a car. Looking back, I think it stemmed from feeling trapped in suburbia. The thing is, as a parent now, I know how dangerous it is for young teens to drive, period, and especially to drive frequently, with friends, etc. I think teaching her to drive is not so much an issue, unless it's a big issue for you, it's more what's next. If she can drive at 14 / 15, what will she hope to do before she has a license? What about after? Perhaps driving lessons can be coupled with a frank discussion about the risks, and some collaborative definition around what follows, as well as brainstorming about any non-car solutions that will get to her underlying need (freedom? coolness? feeling adult?)
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I just took a 'parenting' safe driving course and I was absolutely blown away... the stats for young drivers are NOT pretty. HOWEVER, after taking the class I felt so much more empowered to help my kiddo learn to be a great driver...
SRSLY take a look at this course from the National Safety Council, (bonus you get a free oil change from Midas :) but the class is worth it for nothing...
http://www.midas.com/aliveat25
