What process did you go through to name your child?
It's likely the hormones (okay, most certainly) but lately I've felt so much pressure around picking out a name for our unborn child. I've read that some parents wait to meet their child before giving them a name, others have had a name picked out for years. There are unique, popular, and family options to select from. I'm likely over thinking this (hormones), but I can't help feeling that giving your child a piece of their identity is the hardest decision to make. So, how did you do it? What was your process? How did you choose or decide on what to name your child?
9 Answers
-
Looked a gazillion websites for baby name ideas and just started making a list. As my pregnancy went on certain names fell out of favor and others got better. I also looked at the Social Security website because we did not want a name that was rapidly growing in popularity. http://www.ssa.gov/pressoffice/pr/baby-names2009-pr.htm
At the end, we narrowed it down to two and decided once she arrived.
Good Luck!
-
I love this question! Maybe because I also thought picking the name was so hard, and important, and stressful, and fun. A good friend gave us the fantastic book The Baby Name Wizard by Laura Wattenberg, and there's a companion (free) website with a fantastic visualization of name trends. The book did a nice job of at least grouping similar kinds of names together so that when I found a group that a few names I liked, I could explore the other names and see if they might also fit. Wattenberg also suggests name pairings for siblings which was fun to think about.
We imagined what the name would look like as a candidate for president, as a CEO, as an artist, as a scientist, as a friend in college, as a baby / preschooler, as a world traveler, as a fiancee. We decided we wanted a name that was familiar but not incredibly common.
Over the nine months of not really believing we were pregnant, we collected hundreds of names and then winnowed them down (each of us printing out lists and rejecting ones we didn't like, circling ones that we liked most) and netted out at, literally, b-day with 7 girl names and 7 boy names and didn't feel we could shorten the list any further. We had chosen not to know the gender, not quite realizing that that decision would double the naming challenge :)
Through labor with the first, we were *still* talking about names. When he was born though, we looked at him and when I held him the first time I said "he's an _____." My husband agreed. It was one of the 7 we'd narrowed down to. And that was that.
We had decided to give him my maiden name as his middle name (my husband and both took my maiden as middle names) and thought that made our job simpler. But later, actually, we regretted not using the slot to name him after a favorite relative, and we found ourselves relaxed in our opposition to 'too many names", and so we informally added a second middle.
When I was pregnant with our second, we again found ourselves somewhat overwhelmed but this time we were busier and had less spare cycles to devote to it. We again referenced the book, name charts on the web, and made lists. This time we opted to find out the gender (so as to have a better mental picture of our family-to-be) and it was to be a girl. We agreed on one of the names, this time before the baby was born. Interestingly, our finalist list of 7 or so names had only 3 duplicates from our original list, and without consciously doing so, our selection was one of those 3. A nice (unintended) upside, it turned out, was that we could talk about the new baby coming with a name with our then 20 month old son and the name we'd picked was easy for him to pronounce even then.
BTW Andrea - I found the Baby Name Wizard website to be absolutely fantastic and way cool from a data visualization perspective. I was completely blown away! We've got a short list finally, waiting to meet her now before deciding. Any day now!
- Erin, Oct 28, 2010
-
I think I had a list in mind since I wanted to be a mom. So, that list has been around since 1975. :-) When I finally got around to getting married and getting pregnant, I realized that my husband, the father of my child, would probably also want a vote in the child's name. We both went through many a baby name book and found those we liked. We also did some pairings of names to come up with middle names.
We did have a plan, though. Our son has an English name (first and middle) and a Hebrew name (first and middle). We wanted his first name (we knew it was a boy) to stand alone as his English name and his Hebrew name. Let me tell you, that narrowed the field quite a bit. Also, we decided to honor deceased relatives in his naming by using the initials of their first names. We had E, M and C as options. Baby Einstein, anyone? :-) On the day he was born, we had narrowed it down to 2 choices. Had some time in the delivery room, just the 3 of us, where we looked at him and decided which name fit. We made a good choice.
Some of the books you'll find are really funny, pregnancy hormones or not. One book I looked at suggested "Moonbeam" was a good name on one page 'cause it will make your child unique and, later, had an anecdote from someone with a 'far out' name, begging people not to do that to their kid.
Finally, a great suggestion I got from a different book - pick a name and then say it many times. Say it like you're calling the kid in from outside. Say it like you're scolding the child. Say it with love and endearment in your voice. You're going to be saying the name a lot. If you get tired of hearing it now, that's not a good choice. The more you hear it, the more you love it, you've got your kid's name.
Good luck!
-
When we found out we were expecting our first, we went to the wall of names at a rubber stamp store, and picked a name at random (wife swung her arm around, I said "stop") and the name that came up was "Casey". Reversed places and the name that came up was "Manuel".
Later, we decided not to find out the sex of our first child, and somehow the name Casey stuck with us and seemed like a good name for a boy or a girl. I couldnt imagine him now with any other name.
For his younger sister's name, Casey had two imaginary friends (OK, they were sticks) named coy-coy and coily, so in a leap of faith, we transliterated that to "Chloe" as a girl's name.
The kids both know the story of their names, and its fun that each has an odd story behind it.
That's an awesome story!
- Erin, Jul 20, 2010
-
Besides some of the appraches above, my wife and I looked for names that did not typically associate with a nickname (e.g., Robert > Bob, Anglea > Angie) or too cutsie or common.
One of my more quirky criteria was to have a short name that easily flow off of one's tongue when getting my childs attention when disciplining or needed to get their attention quickly when a unsafe condition arises. I distictly remember some of my friend parents tripping all over over their kids name when we did something wrong. "Drew Ryan" is much much easier to say than "Constantinos Aganathos" (any, yes, I did know someone with this name)
No matter, almost all names fit the kid and a short while later one sometimes wonder what all the name picking fuss was all about.
-
Something else just popped into my head based on nccora's comment - if you don't like the nickname of a more formal name (Andy or Drew for Andrew, Kathy for Kathryn), you might not want to use the formal name at all. Even though you can instruct your family of the child's name, friends or relatives may continually use the shortened name, which will drive you batty.
Secondly, a note on spelling. My name is Alana. I've been spelling it and pronouncing it for people all my life. One summer, I decided to change it to something that I thought was easier to spell and say. I picked "Alicia." Went to summer camp and my mother had informed the staff that I may be using my "new name" and to just roll with it. First time we had to line up and get name badges, someone asked me my name. I said "Alicia." They asked "how do you spell it?" I said "A-L-A-N-A" and never looked back. Still, sometimes, it would have been cool to have a name that everyone could spell AND pronounce.
-
Since I'm an engineer, I collected a bunch of names from census and other websites, then coded up an interesting name exploration web app. You might enjoy browsing around it a little bit -- it's a bit raw, but I think it works pretty well.
I wouldn't say that we used it to decide on what names to use, but I think we did use it for some idea generation and for exploring different name sounds. Check it out: Steve's baby name explorer.
-
The boy was easy as he is the 4th (I'm the 3rd), although it did take a little convincing.
For the girl we threw names around for a long time. We decided my wife would give her the first name and I would give her the middle name with each having veto power over any name. So basically we kept coming up with ideas until we both agreed. In the end My wife named her after her favorite author (Maya Angelou) and I named her after a mountain in Uganda (where she was born). My thinking was that I wanted her to have a connection to where she was from and when she is older we will be able to go visit "her mountain".
This is an awesome story. I love the idea about naming here after the place where she was born, especially since it's so unusual!
- Steve Lacy, Jul 14, 2010
-
I would also second the babynamewizard book and website, but there's also a playful site that uses the same algorithms that you can use to get suggestions based on girl or boy names you like - check www.nymbler.com
We only ever had a few names we both liked. And we ended up giving most of them, with the understanding that she can get rid of them later if she doesn't like them all. So we didn't have the massive lists, instead we had a very very short list. We did review long lists in these books, tho, but in the end, we found the names we liked not from lists, but by just talking and brainstorming and almost accidentally stumbling on them.
Good luck!
More answers to this question are available here, on Reddit Parenting: http://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/cpzc4/what_process_did_you_go_through_to_name_your_child/
- andrea, Jul 15, 2010