Kids calling you by your first name?
Our son, who's 3 years old, has a habit of calling us by our first names.
It all started with a simple innocuous "Daddy, what's your name?" kind of question, and some earnest answers about what my name is, what his name is, etc.
That was about 6 months ago. Now, he seems to be calling me by my first name more and more frequently, and I don't really like it. It's awkward when I do something like go to pick him up from school, and instead of "Hi Daddy!" he's calls me by my first name instead. It feels like I'm an uncle, adopted father, or something.
Any ideas on how to curb this behavior and have Mom and Dad be the norm again?
5 Answers
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I've got a solution for this that comes from my mom - two of my cousins started calling my mom by her first name, Carol, instead of calling her "Aunt Carol." She realized that it was because they were mimicking their parents but she really wanted them to call her "Aunt Carol." So, she pulled them aside one day and said, "You know, there are only a few people in this world who can call me Aunt Carol and I find that really special."
Maybe you can tell your son that there are only two people in this world who can call you Daddy and you love hearing them say it. Good luck!
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Kids are just testing you. I think it's pretty normal, and they'll get over it if you make it clear what your expectation is. Sometimes I don't answer, or sometimes I remind them that I don't like it. Either way I don't give them the help or object their asking for. My kids have been testing this all year on various people: me, their granma, their Big Pop (grandpa), etc. It faded pretty quick when those of us who don't like it just say, "That's not what I want you to call me. I'm not answering you." So then they have to say "mommy, can I please have a snack" if they want to get help.
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Can you just have the " please call me Daddy" talk? When he asks WHY? Say, because thats what I want you to call me. I'm the Daddy of the family, I like it when you call me Daddy -- etc. etc.
if he persists, you can launch into the "kids show respect to grown ups talk".... thats another talk altogether!
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I always called my parents by their first names... how do I get my kids to stop calling me "daddy"?
:)
- andrea, Aug 11, 2010
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A friend suggested that this behavior may stem from parents introducing adult friends to their children by their first names. I think this is a super interesting point and may indeed be an initial cause, but - to me - it doesn't seem like it should trump any explicit discussion about it - kids know that there are rules and also exceptions, and that moms and dad-related things are often exceptions.
I've taken (briefly) to calling him by nicknames he doesn't like when he calls me by my first name. It actually was working for a while, but then he sorta caught on to it and it became a game. Oh well. :)
- Steve Lacy, Aug 10, 2010