How do you draw the line between friend-play and adult-play?
I was recently in a situation where a bunch of boys were all doing some fighting pretend-play. That's fine with me, and everything was going well until I made some karate-type movements.
As soon as that happened, they sort of "took me in" to their pretend-play, and began doing kicking and punching moves in my direction. No actual physical contact was involved (either between the boys, or when directed towards me).
Of course, my first thought was "well, I asked for it" but then I realized that I actually enjoy engaging in pretend play and situations like this, but at some point, I reach my limit and need to get myself out of the situation. That, of course, is hard for the boys to understand. For them, I'm either "in" or "out" and they didn't really get "I've had enough."
Is there an easy way to draw a line between playing between boys and play when interacting with adults? How do you draw that line?
1 Answers
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This is a tricky situation --- with kids in general, and kids at home as well -- boys or girls. It is fun to interact with kids on their level, but drawing back before things get out of control takes finesse, insight, and perspective. I don't think there is one good way to do this. Sometimes you just have to say " thats enough" and stop including yourself in the activity. Kids can be very persistent and may continue to draw you into their play, but a firm " that was fun but I'm finished playing now" is the only way to go. You just have to be careful at parties and with groups of kids. I have been in a swimming pool with strangers -- including kids -- who misinterpreted my getting a ball for them in the pool as " lets include that ( old) lady in our games of dunk and tackle". I had to leave the pool just to get away from them, as they would not take " stop" for an answer-- plus, their parents did nothing to intervene! If you ever lead a group in sports, boy or girl scouts, sunday school etc, , its probably best to establish early on your place as the adult leader. Otherwise, you might easily find yourself as " one of the kids", with no ability to direct and guide at all ! This wisdom comes with experience ! :)
