How do your kids refer to your friends?
A friend mentioned the other day that he'd expect his (future) children to call adults Mr. and Ms., and we realized that we'd comitted a faux pas by having our children call him by his first name.
What's the etiquette these days? Do you ask your friends and acquaintances what they'd like your kids to call them? Do you assume formal ("Mr. So-and-so" or "Ms. Whatchamacallit") or informal (first names or nicknames, just like you use when you speak to your friends).
And finally, as it emerged in the conversation that started this thread, what do you do if half of a couple wants to be called "Mr." and the other wants to be called by their first name? :)
5 Answers
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We have Uncle _____ for family and super close friends, and first name for all our other friends. My friends would laugh if anyone tried to call them Mr.____ or Ms. _____.
I think as the kids get older (9+) and they are interacting with their own friends' parents is when you get into the Mr and Mrs. If they are also my friends, that's one thing. But if they are just at a friends house and meeting the parents, I'd teach them to say Mr__ and Ms ___.
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We usually go by "aunt" or "uncle" <insert first name> (if they're really close friends), else I've been using Ms or Mr <insert first name>.
I'm not totally comfortable with it, as I was raised to call people Mr or Mrs. <last name>, but it seems to be widespread, i.e. school teachers go by first name now.
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I don't have a big problem with calling adults by the first name when the kids are really little, but I'd prefer using mr and mrs as they they get older. We've started the transition with our 3 year old as she meets new people but often last names are hard to pronounce and we aren't as consistent as we should be. By 4 or 5, I'd personally like them using Mr and mrs for adults.
For good friends who we see often we use auntie and uncle as that is typical with my wife's family.
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I agree with KyrieR regarding the distinction between friends and non-friend adults.
Our 3-yr-old son calls all of our friends by their first names. We don't have him use Aunt or Uncle for any of our friends. Teachers are either Teacher [first name] or Ms. [first name]. That seems to be how the teachers want it. I think it's a trend. Even his grandparents want to be called by their first names.
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I can't contribute much more than has already been said. Aunt/Uncle __FIRSTNAME__ is what we use for our friends. When my friends' vocal children call me by my first name without a preface, I'm OK with that, too. Mr/Ms/Mrs is a formality that--in my mind--belongs to another era. I'm not opposed to it, but I see no need to perpetuate it.
