Banning kids from restaurants
In the latest burst of anti-kids-in-public news, a North Carolina restaurant is making headlines with signage that does not quibble. “Screaming Children Will NOT Be Tolerated!” read signs at the the Olde Salty restaurant in Carolina Beach, N.C.
This article is getting a lot of positive reviews from my childfree acquaintances on Facebook. What do you think? Some would like to ban kids from planes, others from restaurants. Do you think it's the parents' obligation to keep their kid from bothering others? Is it the restaurant's? is it the other guests'/passengers' obligation to not mind a loud or disruptive child?
4 Answers
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So.... I am not a fanatical dog owner, but it always struck me as weird that you can ban dogs from restaurants but not children. Dogs (with exceptions of course!) are often a lot quieter and less distracting than kids -- and I would wager also cleaner!
So as a parent and dog owner, I don't have an issue with certain flights or restaurants banning kids. I can see why childfree folks would like this, and frankly, I feel bad when my son is making a mess or having a cow around others.
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Define "screaming children." A friend of mine and her husband and son were asked to leave a restaurant in Monterey when the happy squeals of her son disturbed another diner. The child was not unhappy; he was being a child. The restaurant had kids menu and highchairs.
I can understand a romantic restaurant wanting "kid-free dining." It all depends on the type of establishment. There are some resorts that are "kid-free" as well though they're usually billed as "adults only."
(Haven't you ever been to a restaurant or on a plane where you wished the adult seated near you had been banned??)
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I think this is a perfectly reasonable request on the part of the restaurant owners. I have always taken my screaming child outside if I was in a restaurant or a movie. And it angers me when others don't. On an airplane though, you are trapped, and I do my best to keep my child quiet, and sometimes there is just nothing you can do but pass out earplugs and snicker bars.
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I have three kids that we've brought to restaurants since they were young and if they got loud we'd take them outside, and they are really very good. We bring activity books for them to look at while waiting.
I do think etiquitte calls for you to take your child outside if they are having a fit, or stay home if you know they can't handle it without disturbing others. Yes, that includes autistic children too, because there are others' rights involved too. (Just like freedom of speech does not mean I can scream obsenities outside your house at 2am.)
The problem here is that the sign isn't about etiquette, but it isn't about "banning children" either. It should say: "In order to ensure an ideal dining experience for all patrons, we ask that you take loud children outside until they calm down, and please refrain from talking on cell phones." If it said that, would there really be an uproar? I bet there are many restaurants in the US that do have a sign like that.
My experience as a parent is that our culture is not kid friendly. Feels like "good" parents are supposed to control their children's behavior in public spaces. The constraints on what is considered appropriate are quite tight. "Good" children are quiet and happy peals of laughter or shouts from an 18-month-old may or may not be tolerated.
- wanh!, Oct 12, 2010