I was a step parent for about 9 years in a previous relationship.  Now I have kids of my own and my my partner and I have a 2 year old.  Our relationship grew somewhat gradually out of a friendship and my kids always liked my partner until they found out that we were dating.  Then things soured a bit and they have varied between sweet and sour ever since then.  My partner really truly loves all of our kids, but she has a very different style in dealing with my older girls than I do.  She says that I am a big push over, that I am too easy on them and that I don't come down firmly enough with them when they are disresepctful, especally to her.  I have heard that one solution to this is for the step-parent to never handle discipline.  That seems like a good idea and I can defintiely see the wisdom of it based on my own experience as a step dad.  But it's not always practical, I mean, she should NEVER make any decisions about behavior and consequences?  How is that even possible? 

I would love to hear what other people think is the best approach, and I'd love even more to hear what people can share aobut their personal experience with livign in a so-called blended family.  We need to decide this question, my kids are getting confused about who is in charge, we're all a bit grumpy about it and this confilct sucks a lot of the joy out mf my relationship with my wife, and my kids.