5 Answers
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As an only child, I'd feel free to tell those nosy neighbors to go fuck themselves. Unless of course they're willing to play night-nurse for the mandated second. (Presumably they also frown on MORE than two. It's all about confirming your own choices by bullying others into the same ones.)
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According to Wikipedia's entry on "Only Child" the aggregated scientific research says that only children are no different from children with sibs. May have a bit more achievement motivation, a bit better vocab, due to more time and attention from parents.
As a mom of two, I think siblings have some benefits and some costs, both to each other and for parents. For parents, it seems sometimes our children will play well together for longer and longer stretches and require less from us. Some things come easier too, like when our first toilet trained our second. On the other hand, there are also conflicts at times, and it takes us more effort to get out of the house, stay up with school obligations etc.
From afar, it seems families with one child manage to function with one foot in their prior lives a bit more easily than families with more.
Parents just get no end of grief, I think. Having kids is selfish, not having kids is selfish, and on and on. It's hard to put hands over our ears and try and listen to ourselves. But it's NOT selfish to act in our own best interest. Happy, true-to-themselves parents is a wonderful gift to give a child.
Wishing you some rest and career satisfaction.
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In my case the pressure to have a 2nd came from my husband. Interestingly his main argument, and he got other only-children to back him up, was that only children feel unfair pressure to be their parents' only source of support as they get older. Anyway, now we have 2 (and I'm glad we do), I sometimes get pressured to have a third from my side of the family. So it never ends.
I have found that if you sound uncertain or rationalize, people are more apt to give their opinions. If I give short, definitive answers (even if I'm not sure - it's none of their business anyway), then it's clear the matter is not up for discussion. Basically, I don't offer any reasons for our decision so they won't have any to argue with. "We're happy with one."
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if you want a firm answer that ends the conversation, you can always say: "we are so happy that we have even one." :)
