What Kind of Help Is Most Helpful with a Newborn?
This Wall Street Journal blog entry asks the question of: What kind of help is most helpful with a newborn?
I think this is a really interesting question, so I'm asking Parents Guild.
What did you find most helpful when you had (or have!) your newborn? Housecleaning? Prepared Meals? Watching a sleeping baby so you can have some personal time?
Is it better to just let new parents nest and leave them alone?
Is help from friends welcome? What about help from relatives? Which did you prefer?
Do tell!
5 Answers
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For us it was just my mom's presence for a few hours several days a week. She would bring home-cooked food, and watch the baby allowing me to nap. Not only did I get some much-needed rest but I also didn't have to stress about what to make for dinner that night. And as a bonus, my mom was able to bond with her grandson (and granddaughter since she did this both times around).
If, however, my parents didn't live so close (only 20 min away), I don't think it would have worked so well. My husband and I valued having the majority of our time alone as a family. The respite my mom provided of a few hours was just what we needed. If parents (or in-laws) had come from afar and had to stay in the same home with us, 24x7, we would have gone crazy.
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I found it most helpful to have my parents and sister with us for the 1st 4 weeks. Of course, I have a very good relationship with them, so that helps. Each had a different role- it just happened because that's who they are. My sister helped with diapering and playing/holding/feeding the baby, my mom cooked, cleaned and also held/fed the baby, and my dad did all the back and forth to stores- grocery shopping, buying baby gear, returning stuff. It was like a well oiled machine of helpers and I couldn't have asked for more. It also wouldn't have been the same for me if it were my in-laws, unfortunately not nearly as helpful in those ways.
By week 5 after family left, it was great to have friends bring over food (definitely great not to think about making dinner or giving up time to focus on that) and also great for time to have your hands free for a while when they held the baby.
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Come over, visit with the new family, be awake/alert while the baby and mommy nap. Please don't insist that the parents leave the house just because you're there. I didn't like the implication that I would want to leave now that there was someone in the house to watch the baby. This is my new baby.
I know that I was tired and that I needed to rest. It was nice to have someone there to be 'on watch' so that I could take a nap. Offers of food were always appreciated too.
