What's the right amount of "alone time" for a 2 1/2 year old?
Our 2 1/2 year old son will frequently play in his room, by himself, for up to an hour in the mornings after he wakes up.
Other parents I've talked to said that when their kids wake up, they usually come straight to their bedroom and wake them up.
But our son is frequently just fine playing in his room (and making a pretty big mess while he's at it!).
I'm not currently worried about this, and it's actually a big relief most of the time, but sometimes I get a little worried that he's not getting enough one-on-one play time.
Additionally, there are times in the evenings, (like when we're preparing dinner) that I'd prefer if he could just play by himself in his room.
At 2 1/2 years, what's the right amount of alone playtime?
3 Answers
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I think you're right not to be worried about this. :) My experience with my kids has varied all over the map. One of my twins has always been very peaceful when playing alone and sought out alone-time from a very young age. My other children were more of the "come wake me up" variety. My twins are now 11 and Lizzie continues to seek solitude for periods of time. She's the most likely to be found curled up with a book - and what can be bad about that!
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I have an 8 year old who never played alone. Very demanding toddler. I also have a 6 year old who did play alone sometimes and now doesn't, and a 3 year old who is the best of all of them at playing alone. And I never complain about that! She has the best imagination; the other two never acted out things with dolls, action figures, etc. She does it quite well.
That said, in order to not get bored while playing with my eldest all day, we did activities that I found stimulating, and they proved good for her brain. My husband and I make an effort to take the time to do those things with our youngest sometimes as well.
I think as long as you are there to play with him when he wants (within reason) and you make the effort to do one-on-one things sometimes (within reason) then playing alone for a while is just a positive thing.
(The only cause to worry is if he rarely shows interest in playing with you, and he doesn't seem to notice when other people are around, and he doesn't take an interest in what other kids are doing when they are around. Then you might want to read about signs of Autism.)
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I agree with mampajama, being able to entertain themselves alone is a real strength and nothing to worry about. My son is the: come find Mom, wants to chat, play, get going...My daughter is happy playing in her room, being creative, reading, dancing...she will spend time alone in her room everyday afterschool by choice. My son wants action, excitement, stimulation...(and quite frankly, can be draining) They have had these personalities since birth. I think it is all hard wired and not anything that we have fostered. Just make sure that safety is not an issue and check in periodically so that he knows you are there if he needs you. Enjoy the quite mornings and be grateful.....your daughter may be different!
Wow! Can your son teach my kids to play by themselves? They always wake us up straightaway and very rarely play by themselves at any time. Just goes to show how each kid is different.
- Stephen M., Nov 25, 2009