3 Year Old and Nightmares

0 votes

For the last couple of months, our 3 year old has been waking almost every night, sometimes multiple times, with nightmares.  He'll come into bed with me saying he had a scary dream, and since he's crying, I believe that he's actually scared, not just trying to get an extra cuddle.  Sometimes he wakes up screaming and I'll go into him instead.  He doesn't watch scary tv, read scary books, have scary encounters with people.  We're a pretty mellow family, we never hit and rarely yell.  We spend lots of time together.  He gets plenty of rest.  I have no idea what is going on.  When he tells me the dreams they are fairly benign:

"I dreamt that my teddy bear was on the counter and I couldn't get it."

To which I reply, "But you know how to drag a chair over to reach things that are high or you can always ask Mommy or Daddy to get it."

I've tried talking to him to see if anything bad has happened that I don't know about but came up empty.  I try talking to him before he goes to sleep to give him a happy story to go to sleep to.  But it doesn't work.

Is this just a stage I should wait out?  Is something more serious going on?  Any suggestions about how I can help him?

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Anonymous

Feb 23, 2010

2 Answers

  • 1 votes

    Our soon went through a bout of nightmares last Halloween when he just over 3 years old.  I think he learned the concept of monsters and shadows from school as they were reading and talking about Halloween.   He would wake up crying about shadows in his room.  Nightlights didn't help.  Lights off with door closed, door open, door ajar, ambient hall lighting, nothing helped.  What finally worked was to give him a flashlight so when he did wake up scared, he could turn on his flashlight and shine it at the offending shadows.  Voila. 

    Now I'm waiting for the next phase of fears to set in.  A friend of mine who has a 6 year old says nightmares came and went regularly between the ages of 3-5 for her son.
    aknitter

    Menlo Park, CA

    Mar 9, 2010

  • 0 votes

    I have heard that nightmares can start earlier than this but usually it's at this age that they can verbalize what's going on. So it seems like a sudden onset when it's not. I think nightmares happen for all kids.

    I think you're doing the right thing by helping him address his fears and not discounting them. As you said, his fears are usually benign so I don't think it's related to anything he sees during the day. I have heard this from other parents as well.

    One thing you can do is try to see if you can get him to sleep better. For example, avoid sugary foods close to bedtime. Avoid active exercise right before bed. Put him to bed early, not when he is overtired. Have a very relaxing bed time routine.

     
    sweethi

    bounce, bounce ... hop, hop
    Seattle, WA

    Mar 6, 2010



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