5 Answers
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Living in a tiny house with a growing set of boys we've talked about this too. A nearby park is great, but NOT a substitute for private space that you don't have to go sit and watch them play at. I love being able to open our back doors in the summer and let the boys play in our back yard. Sometimes we have a set up pool, sometimes a trampoline, etc. And I can watch them while I take care of my business too. If I have to take them to the park, it's a shot afternoon for me. Perhaps when they get older I will be able to send them to the park on their bikes, but if I do it now, someone will surely report me to CPS.
So, I'm loath to add on to our house and eat up our precious back yard. But we need more house! ugh, I feel your pain!
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I think a yard is pretty important, but I think there are many other factors to consider.
At our house, we have a very small front yard, not fenced, and a reasonably sized area in the back of our house, but there isn't any grass there (it's all pavers and concrete). I find this sort of unfortunate, because it means that we don't have a nice sunny, grassy area for the kids to go out by themselves and just "have a good time". They still enjoy going out there, and love to draw with sidewalk chalk, ride tricycles, etc., but it just isn't as natural as I'd like it to feel.
But, to counter that, we have a wonderful small park that's only about 2 block away from our house, and it has swings, a grassy area and a play structure. We get to meet all the neighborhood kids and their parents there, and it's been a great source of friends for both us and our kids. In some sense, this park is way more important than any back yard.
A new family with 2 boys recently moved on to our street, and they said that their old house had a big back yard where the kids could play, but they never, ever met any of their neighbors. Now, on our street, there are 5 or 6 families whose kids all play together outside all the time, and we're all trying to foster an "open door policy" for the neighborhood, where any kid can feel safe at any neighbors house.
I think these latter points (a close park, and a good sense of community) are far more important than having a good backyard.
Good luck on your house search!
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I think a yard is more useful when the kids are younger. By the time they're older (I'm guessing middle school by looking back on my life?) they'll just want to go hang out at the mall or the movies or stay indoors playing video games. However, for the sweet spot, say ages 1-11, then a yard is a great asset.
I also completely agree with Steve in trying to spend as much time as we can at our neighborhood park to interact with other kids. However, when I'm trying to cook or clean, the yard is indispensable.
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I have to disagree with my husband (Steve) - as you might guess, we've had this discussion at home too :) I think of a yard as a nice convenience but not anything that's important or essential for a childhood. Maybe it's because my parents grew up in New York City, and - from what they've told me - they had a wonderful, normal, largely outside childhood even in the most urban of cities. If we're honest with ourselves, there is actually nothing "natural" about a suburban yard.
Growing up my brother and I had a large yard in front and back with a play structure. My happiest memories of the yard are: playing on the hammock, cartwheels in the grass, and when I was a bit older, playing chase games with the neighboring kids in our yard, their yards and all around the neighborhood. I don't remember regularly playing in / "living in" the yard.
I'd much rather our kids have exactly what we have now: a nearby park and lots of kids to play with who are often in front of their houses (possibly because none of us have much of a yard), and a fairly safe street to play on (parents are generally watching, the street is narrow and most cars drive slow).
One neighbor has a glorious back yard and they've made the most of it with a large play structure and sandbox. It's great for birthday parties. We don't have that, but birthday parties are once-a-year, and our kids are largely out of the house and in the neighborhood most days of the week. Some days our kids go to their yard to play with their kids - which is great by us, and seems to be fine with our neighbor. So my net - it's nice, but relatively short-lived and non-essential.
