Day care costs vs mom's employment - how does the math work after the first kid?
A previous question asked about careers and staying at home, but I want to ask specifically about the financial side of the second kid. How do you balance potential wages of the mom against day care costs for two? What are your reasons for going back to work or deciding to stay home for a while? If you didn't have a ton of savings to live off of, at what point do you say it's worth staying home?
Anonymous
Apr 5, 2010, edited Apr 5, 2010
2 Answers
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2 votes
We have three kids and faced this question a couple of times (after #2 was born and after #3 was born). I kept working full time after #2 and went down to half time after #3. I'm planning on going back full time when #3 is about to start preschool (in 1.5 years). We are currently in the position that we pay more for childcare than I earn. Part of the reason is that I have gone down to part time; if I were full time I think we would be about breaking even. The other part of the reason is that the place we REALLY liked for childcare only has the option for full time, so we are paying for full time even though we only need and use part time.
For the money part of the equation, we don't have a lot of expenses other than childcare (house small but paid off, no credit card debt or college loans), so even though my salary doesn't cover childcare, we aren't eating up a lot of savings paying for it. I would still want to work (more below), so if we didn't have the money to do it this way, there are plenty of ways we could raise income or cut expenses -- have me work full time, get part time childcare, do a nanny-share or co-op childcare arrangement, send the 1 year old to a place that doesn't have a 2:1 ratio, do a 9 to 3 option with me going into work early and husband doing drop off and me leaving work early and doing pick up, etc.
I kept working because I am in technology and if I stopped out for a few years, I didn't think I would be able to get back in, at least not easily. Besides working part time, I telecommute so that even though I only have 3 kid-free hours most days, I can make it work. I think I am a better mother and person for going to an interesting job and being away from the kids for some every day. Even though my husband's job is secure, he feels a burden of being the sole wage-earner. I have seen friends get divorced and having to go from full time SAHM to working full time at a minimum wage job. Not that I think my marriage is at all in trouble, but I've seen bad things happen to good people.
Not sure how closely yours are spaced, but remember that they will only be this expensive for a few years. Infant care is more expensive than toddler care is more expensive than preschool is more expensive than (public) school. If you remember that it is really expensive for just a short time, maybe it won't seem so painful.
Anonymous
Apr 5, 2010
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1 votes
It's a good question. One factor that's specific from 1 to 2 kids is that I believe nannies often give a substantial discount (I've even heard "free") with the second child, a bigger discount than a daycare may give (typically, around here, 10% off for the 2nd). So, if you're watching your pennies, a daycare will usually be less expensive for 1 kid, but a nanny may be similarly priced or even less than a daycare with 2 kids.
Agreed with the above post that it's useful (at least to me) not to consider it an either/or - daycare or stay home - question. It was a earth-shattering moment of clarity for me when I realized that there as many options for making "work" work as there are for making "daycare" work, and that it's worth an exercise to imagine what several different "perfect" worlds might look like for your family when estimating costs and what might be possible with employers and day care situations. I know, that probably doesn't make the question any easier, sorry! ;)
Anonymous
Apr 6, 2010
