How to deal with toddler's hitting behavior?
My son is 16 mo old and is, I believe, starting to test limits. He has recently started hitting the pets and other kids or people with his toys. He also will occasionally take toys from other kids or shove people out of his way. It seems like often he'll do these things more when he is tired or hungry.
I am wondering how others have handled these kinds of behaviors and what is the best response. I've heard too much explanation isn't always a good thing at this age, so I've been trying to say "No, we don't hit...(the dog, other kids, etc)" or "No, Caroline is playing with that right now" and then redirecting him to something else. Is that the best way to handle this? Do I take the toy away (when he is hitting with it) and for how long? I'd like to nip this behavior now while he is still young.
Thanks!
2 Answers
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I loved the idea that someone gave in the playgroup I go to - "Caroline, we don't hit people but you can hit this pillow." Then, when Caroline is in a hitting mood, she can pound on the pillow to her heart's delight. :-)
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It sounds like you are doing all the right things! Or, at least, the same things we do. :-) When our 18 month old hits, I say, "we don't hit in our family." If it is a stranger's kid, I will be more proactive and grab his hands after the first time, particularly if I think he's gearing up to do it again. If it is one of my kids or the kid of a friend who knows I will be all over it, I might just say the "we don't hit in our family" line and be close enough that I can prevent hitting if he tries it again. Sometimes I also encourage gentle pats ("can you give him a gentle pat instead?").
If he hits with a toy (or anything else), it gets taken away immediately because there is just so much more potential for damage. Generally it gets taken for the rest of the day, though if a lot of time has passed and he asks for it again, he can have it back. I don't bring up the "no hitting" at that point because I don't want to remind him.
Or were you asking if he took a toy away from another child and then started hitting her with it? If that's the case, yes, I would tell him, "Caroline is playing with that right now" and move him away from her/it.
