Do you think this is true? "Kids need a break from their parents..."
...just as their parents need a break from them."
I recently stumbled on this quote in, of all things, an article on why guest posts are good for blogs (ie. your readers need a break from you...). Anyway, it made me stop and think.
One could argue that having a sitter from time to time is good for kids because it a) keeps us / their parents sane and b) gives us a chance to give back to our marriage, so there's a relationship there that we and our kids can depend on. From that angle, it offers another POV to consider - the kids - and suggests they are better able to cope with us and/or with the world at large if they get regular breaks from us. Really? Could we be taxing for our kids?
I suppose this ties into the earlier question about how much time parents are spending with their kids these days. I'm a little afraid to go there because I don't want a debate about the "right" or "best" amount of time to spend with your children, which is a loaded debate partly because it's not always a choice. One could reasonably argue "as much as possible! No such thing as too much" but if so, I'd love to hear why.
What do you think? Does this quote have merit? How do you interpret it?
I'm 30 and I need breaks from my parents, I don't see why that same logic wouldn't apply to someone who was say, 5. I personally think that breaks are good. Breaks from work, breaks from friends, break from parents - you name it. Taking a break from anything allows you the space to reflect and regroup.
I've had this theory for a long time about my kids.
They show their true character at home with mom and dad.. in other words:
However. When they are away from mom and dad is the real test? How do they behave for others? At a playdate, at a nursery class at church, with grandma, with a babysitter?
After a hard week with my two year old, I expected the report from the sitter to be that my kid was naughty. But it's never the case. They are almost always 'better behaved' for others than for mom and dad? Why??
Because they need breaks too. They need to be reminded that they miss their parents, even if they know they are coming back. And they need a chance to prove that they are capable of 'normal' behaviour outside of the home.
Who doesn't love hearing a report from grandma that little Sarah was happy and sans-whine the whole afternoon!
It's good for both the parents and the kid!
Definitely! My sister once took care of my two older kids overnight and they were so happy to spend time with her and get away from the routine -- they watched too much tv, had a picnic at the park for dinner, went out to ice cream. It was a mini-vacation for them too. She gave them experiences we never would have thought to. I don't think that we are the only ones with something to teach our kids. Exposing them to other people and other ideas is (or can be) stimulating and fun for them.
My oldest, even when he was a baby, wanted time away from me. I remember once he was "reading" a book on the floor and I was reading on the couch. I thought I should spend some time with him so I got up and sat down next to him. He got up, walked about 5 feet away, and sat down and starting reading again. I'm not even sure he was a year old. And if a kid that young wants space to do his own thing, imagine how much more of a need an older kid has.
I also firmly believe one of the most important things you can give your kids is a loving home. For us, having time for just the two of us is key.
Apr 22, 2010
I definitely think my son benefits from his alone time. There've been occasions when he's playing and he gets frustrated with the toy, with me, both... and I'll bring him upstairs for a rest. When I put him in the crib, he lays down, very still and let's me leave the room. Once I do, he sits up and plays with the toys in his bed. I can usually hear him chirping for 10 minutes or so and then it gets quiet 'cause he's settled down for a rest. He wakes up and is happy to see me! :-)