2 Answers
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Ouch.
This is the sort of thing I hate to even answer because it depends so much on what's going on in her life, which I can't know and you very likely don't know much better than I do. So take whatever I say (or anyone else says, honestly) with a grain of salt.
But keeping that caveat in view, I'd suspect that she's doing it to get attention/acceptance from the other kids for the most part. You do say that she sometimes doesn't "find" the stuff later, but that may just be because she forgets, or just gets distracted by the item, or whatever. My twins are six, and at six it's hard to imagine that she'd be doing it for the same reason an older kid or adult might, though it could easily develop into that kind of thing.
So if you're comfortable enough with the kids (and the parents) in the group you might try quietly intervening when you see it going on, and at the same time maybe find ways to get her more included and accepted in the group -- by suggesting games that she has a role in, etc. That can be tricky, depending on the culture of the group: in some groups I've been in parents are expected to take a strictly hands-off approach to other kids (personally, I think this is a problem in itself, but that's another issue).
You might also try again with the parents, keeping in mind that an initial brush-off could be due to any number of things, including distraction by personal issues or just general insecurity. I hate to even suggest it because I could easily be wrong, but it's very possible that there are personal issues going on in her and her family's life that are behind her trying such unorthodox ways of getting attention.
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Since her parents are not there, they won't likely have a problem with you speaking directly to her. I would kindly have a chat with her about stealing. She may not understand that it's the cause of other children avoiding her, and if her parents are not giving her much attention, she might not have had an opportunity to learn this lesson.
When I was a kid, a neighbor had a chat with me once about picking on my sister. She saw me doing it while we were walking to our bus stop in the morning. I still remember it, how kind her manner was toward me. You could be doing the child a favor if you approach her that way.
Good Luck!
Perhaps edit the title to be "neighborhood girl is stealing"? When I first saw it, I thought kidnapping! ;)
- andrea, Apr 29, 2010